LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FINISHED PROJECT..

So it should come as no surprise that I have been Quite!.. Ob-Sessed with the Real World - Road Rules Challenge franchise since my days in college.  I don't need to justify it.  I don't need to explain it.  It's just something you get...


So that being said, In honor of the return of the latest incarnation in this series, The Duel II.. I thought I'd take some time to post my anticipations and observations for the season.  Let’s take this thing on!

First of all, I have to provide the disclaimer that Andrew’s been out of town for 4 days now
and we’ve only been together maybe a total of 5 days this month, so this review is a little sex-centric. I mean, I’ve always approached these Challenges under the impression that they were essentially soft-core porn (you don’t really care about the plot or the premise, you just watch it for the visual stimulation), so perhaps that’s the perfect tone to take.

Anyway, I’ve been highly anticipating this thing for weeks now, possibly months! The lineup promised to be one of the more exciting dynamics of favorites that we’ve had in the last few rounds of Challenges. Also, I loooove that it’s set in New Zealand. I’m half way enthralled
and half way offended by the borderline amazing traditional Maori opening.

While part of me wants to write MTV a letter reprimanding them for their cultural insensitivity, most of me really just loves it. I mean, if we were little and the Superfriends all did a choreographed haka dance, would we be offended? I think not.. And the RW/RR Challenges really are our contemporary equivalent to the Superfriends, are they not? The first few minutes of set up were engrossing to say the least, setting the tone for the ghosts of
Challenge’s past and it really just got better from there. I really love how self reflexive and self important they’re making this Challenge! I mean honestly, these things mean as much to some people (including me!) as say ER or MASH.. So why not?!

Alright, let’s get on to the cast. After a long shot of the entire cast, we’re greeted by Kimberly, who you may remember from The Soup fame as the racially clueless “ghetto Blackville” girl. Can’t stand her and can’t wait to see her come to a humiliating demise half way through the season. Her accent is like a cheese grater to my soul.

Mark Long may be as cheesey as all get out, but he’s one hot 40 year old. If my body’s that bangin’ at his age I will be a happy man. I served him once at the CCF Beverly Hills and I’ve always thought he should look into a career in either gay or straight porn. (Obviously gay porn would be more lucrative, but I don’t think that’d ever happen). Anyway, he is one of the many reality whores that I would quite thoroughly enjoy having sex with.

I love love love me some Paula Walnuts. Always have. Always will. She’s that kind of emotionally unstable girl that just gravitates to me and we would so totes be besties if we ran in the same circles. Her story on The Island was one of the season’s hallmarks and I think it’s
interesting to note that sexy Kenny is not a part of this Challenge. (Not to mention Johnny Bananas who I still lurve despite his betrayal of Paula on The Island and that troll Evelyn who I never liked.) Hmm.. I guess throwing Paula under the bus paid off enough that he could sit this one out.

Tori sucks and is boring just like most of those Fresh Meat type replacement people. Brad from San Diego however is one of my fave Real Worlders of all time and I wish he’d go for someone better. I always root for him in these things and it always sucks to see him get screwed over. I always associate him with Robin who is like in my top 5 all time favorite Challengers list so I think that’s why I like him too. But anyway, yeah, I live for Robin and her raspy chain smoking voice and her paranoid self. She came into the OG I worked at in Vegas and ordered some calamari and a mango margarita and I’ve been love struck ever since ;)

OK. You asked about Veronica I think about Rachel and I really have little information about what went down between those two except that I do see Veronica out like all the time, like sometimes once a week around WeHo so she’s obviously kickin’ it around her somewhere. She runs with one of my acquaintancey friends and I’ve had a few pleasant drunken conversations with her. I’m not really sure what she saw in Jenn on The Island except the fact that she’s hot, but she’s still pretty boring and I’m pretty ambivalent as to how this
Challenge works out for her.

Evan’s always fun to watch and he makes good TV. I think I generally like him because I know that Coral’s got his back and if Coral’s got somebody’s back than I got their back too.

Eww. Big Eric is so gross and I just wish he would go away. We get it. You’re fat. Blah!

Um. Ruthie is obviously also in my top 5 all time fave list. I live for her. She is my hero. I wish the best for her. I hope she wins. Cannot gush enough about my Island girl!! Landon has to be one of the Top 5 Sexiest RW Alum of all time and I like him as a person too! Yay! Go Landon! I hope he is shirtless this season as much as possible ;)

Gay Ryan is in that Not-Too-Interesting Fresh Meat group of people but I don’t really dislike him like I do Davis. Last I heard, he was working at one of my fave restaurants in Chelsea, St. Elmo. I got really drunk there last October with JD and sweety Ryan from RW
Brooklyn! Davis I don’t trust nor would I make an effort to talk to if I saw him out because he is a racist with issues that clearly need to be worked out and I have enough issues of my own thank you very much. I love how hot and heavy the two of them are getting however,
especially in that setting, but more because of the idea of it. It's like a big FU to all the alpha-maleness that normally dominates these things.

I love how crazy Brooke is trying to get in the mix with them too! What a crazy bitch! She has some great youtubes up also courtesy of The Soup. I like her to stay around as long as possible cuz she always brings the crazy and well that’s just fun to watch!

I don’t have feelings about Aneesa really either way. I mean, I don’t dislike her or root against her, I’m just never really pulling for her either. I think it’s kind of weird that she looks nothing like that fat naked girl that used to wander around the Real World Chicago apartment.

That Derek guy’s alright, I guess, but just doesn’t qualify as Challenge royalty for some reason. He never really calls my attention except that in some shots at certain angles he’s vaguely hot. Katie however has always been one of my love’s. Like Robin, her chain smoking rasp just draws me in and I generally root for her whenever she’s on the chopping block. I think she’s be reeeeeally fun to drink with!

OK, so we already know that CT and Adam get into a fist to cuff’s on the first night and that kind of sucks because I like having CT around too. I love the tension he brings into a room and watching everyone just generally be on edge around him. He’s totally gross and disgusting but I’m strangely attracted to him in that “I’d love to hate fuck him” kind of way.. Adam’s about as interesting as the inside of an empty cereal box so he’s not much of a loss, but sucks to see CT
go. Damn, man. He really just can’t control himself can he?

Isaac from Sydney is one of my favorite recent additions to the Challenge mess and has been dubbed by Joel McHale as The Soup’s favorite RW cast member ever. I generally agree. His degree of crazy is very endearing and again, inexplicably, I’m strangely attracted to him in that “I’ll never have him because he’s straight” unattainable kind of way.. Though, I could vaguely imagine him letting me go down on him if he was drunk and potentially passed out? Is that creepy. Well, that’s what he brings out in me! His black face Flava Flav should’ve offended me but I gotta say, it was rather flawlessly executed so you have to kind of give him props. Is that wrong?

Diem has an interesting story I guess, with that whole cancer thing, but I still pretty much clump her into that vanilla Fresh Meat crowd and never really got past that. I could care less about her “relationship” with CT, because clearly he could care less.. Dunbar is generically attractive I guess but while he was an actual Real Worlder, he might as well have been a Fresh Meater. Although, I agree with Paula, “I haven’t had it yet so I might go for it, if I’m bored.”

There are a few people who I have no idea who they are nor could I care less about them in this challenge. Nick is one of them. I’m assuming he’s from that same horrendous Hollywood season that Kimberly was in that I did not watch because I could step out my front door to
watch douche bags if I wanted to. That Shauvon girl? Was she from Sydney? Blah. Who cares. She’ll be one of the first to go. Over it. Who the fuck’s Brittini? I don’t care..

I was bummed to see that none of the Brooklyn cast were able to make it on in time, but I do not that my boy Scotty is strongly considering doing the next one!

The replacement of MJ and Nehemiah combined don’t even come close to matching the loss of CT but oh well.. I actually like MJ cuz he was pretty respectful to Karamo and Willy on the Philly season and Nehemiah was cool cuz he went at it with stupid Wes about politics in
Austin but besides that.. Ho-hum.

Anyways, I'll be twittering throughout this season! Can't wait for all the dramz to go down!!