DO YOU LIKE THIS GOWN? IT'S VERY DRAMATIC..

Yes yes yes!! Please god let this be true!! Get ready for the return of some duhrama on The Hills next season!! Sources reveal exclusively that Laguna Beach alum Kristin Cavallari will be attending Speidi's wedding today.

Kristin will be going with Brody Jenner, according to insiders.  Additionally, Cavallari will be joining the next season of The Hills, "at least for 6 episodes."

Bring on the bitchiness! Honestly, as much as I love me some K.Cav.. I kind of have a mixed reaction to this news.. I mean, on one hand, it'll be amazing to see her back in action, she was the whole reason I originally got hooked to the Laguna Beach franchise after all.. But on the other hand, I was kind of looking forward to being able to ween myself from the The Hills teet with LC's looming exit and getting a half hour a week back in my life.. At least she's only signed on for 6 ep's so far.. But we all know how that goes.. She'll start doing guest spots but I can easily see her signing on for full time.. Oh well.. Let the drramz begin!!

THERE WAS A TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN I WOULDN'T BE CAUGHT DEAD IN A GOWN LIKE THIS..

A crazy summer already promises to be in store, with travel and events lining up through Labor Day already.. So I've been takin' it easy this week.. Laying low, cleaning out my TiVo and catching up with my behemoth of a NETFLIX queue.. I caught 3:10 TO YUMA the other night and despite many strong moments.. I was kind of thoroughly non-plussed.

First of all, most of what carried me through this picture was the motley crew of a cast. I've never really been on Team Russell Crowe and this project didn't do anything to convert me over. I still feel the same about him now as I did before I watched this.. Christian Bale does his thing in this film but honestly this is one of his more flat performances I've seen to date. Nothing really spectacular to him in this one. In fact, almost all of the spectacular is left to a long time fave of mine, Mr. Ben Foster (+++) As he has proven to do time and time again, this guy just chews his way through his scenes... Kicking ass, taking names and leaving almost everybody else in his destructive wake. He is hands down the best part of this film and his performance along makes this thing worthwhile. I was surprised to see Richard Roxburgh (The Duke from Moulin Rouge) come into the mix, but he's always a delight to have around I guess. If I had once heard that Luke Wilson was making a cameo in this movie, I had totally forgot because I had to double take the moment he came on the screen. I was like, "Whaaa?.. Is that Luke Wilson?" Anyway, Gretchen Mol is also in this and I mean.. She was a’ight, but she so far has just proven to be one of those Indie It girl ingénues that get buzz for n apparent reason. Ultimately, the absence of any real women characters or stories proved a huge void and really just made this whole thing feel like yet another antiquated Western without any significant female characterization or presence. On the same token, I didn’t appreciate the violence in this thing either. Yeah, I get it that the West was violent, but we really need to do something about the excess in violence in our culture, as tired as that rant may sound. The
Western is the fictional dramatization of the ethic of how heterosexual Victorian males are to communicate with each other. Now this ethic can prove either partially erotic and arousing (ie
Brokeback Mountain), or mostly prehistoric and rudimentary (see, John Wayne). The final shoot out scene had me straining to stay engaged. All in all, remarkably forgettable and tuned out from any sense of context or import. (C-)


I was completely convinced that I was the last individual on all of Planet Unicorn who had yet to see SUPERBAD until I found out my filmophile friend Sylvia hadn't seen it either and that made me feel just a little bit better about myself ;)

Now, don't get me wrong, Superbad is a pretty fucking hysterical film, but it's also a film that essentially we have all collectively seen before. But let's get the good stuff out of the way first. The opening sequence discussing amateur internet porn was truly epic and of our time. The writing is truly high-lare which is pretty easy to accomplish when you have Jonah Hill spouting off such zingers as “Don’t be such a va-gine. I gotta get a Red Bull before class.” I couldn’t stop thinking about what this film must mean to the generation 10 years behind me. I imagine that its content and experience was digested and therefore collectively realized into a much different thing then it what it was for me. I could see why this film could be iconic for them. For me, in spite of all of its good stuff, it really just came off as a reimagination of different teen coming of age films that have come and gone over the past 3 decades.. I couldn’t help but wonder if my disconnect to this film was somehow similar to the disconnect that many straight men and women have to Moulin Rouge? Like perhaps the cosmic inverse of this theoretical disconnect? Ultimately, while watching Superbad, I was also reminded of such classics as The Last American Virgin and American Pie and (in spite of how vanilla it may seem nowadays) Can’t Hardly Wait. What these films didn't have, however, was this particular team and when you're handed a Judd Apatow production, you can be sure to be favored with such peppery delights as, “It’s not the going with the ladies that I care about. It’s the coming.” and “Spread your shit. Pussies on the pavement, fellas!” I loved loved loved the girl that played Jules!! (Emma Stone. I hope she has great things to come!) But I loved the Michael Cera love interest girl too (Martha Maclsaac). What I did come to value of this film was that perhaps, just maybe, this narrative played a huge part in disseminating the Bromance mystique that has so permeated our culture over the past few years. Michael Cera really does need to grow as an actor. The same George Michael from Arrested Development read will only get him so far, and I say this because I do like him. I’d just like to see him take more risks is all! I’m sure it’ll happen in due time, but I hope it comes sooner rather than later. But it should be well noted.. The penis art during the final credits was quite simply, j’amazing and at the end of the day.. Isn't that really what this was all about?! (B)

So I've been highly anticipating the premiere of HBO's original movie version of Grey Gardens since I caught a glimpse of Drew Barrymore and Jessica Lange apparently high as kites heading down the red carpet at this year's Golden Globes.  

So I popped open a bottle of 2 Buck Chuck Cabernet, had my Top Straight Sylvia come over and we settled in for a Wednesday night of crazy genius. First of all, let me begin with The Cast. While Jessica Lange is undoubtedly splendid in this, Grey Gardens is so clearly Drew's vehicle. She shines and soars as Little Edie Beal and the result is nothing more than a sheer triumph and delight. Many a review has already gone on at length regarding the significance of this performance for Drew and the future of her career as well as the place she has cemented in our culture because of it so I will leave it to those who have already elaborated. Basically, let's just say that with Drew's Little Edie.. We are definitely still given Drew, the Drew that audiences truly want to see, but it's a Drew who is completely wrapped up in giving us something opposite of what she would normally give us. Every impulse is Edie's impulse. Every choice Drew makes in this film is clearly in honor and respect for Edie. In short, she has truly transformed herself into the life and world of this character and we are all the better for it.  With all the warranted attention that's been laid on Drew, I was surprised to find out during the opening credits that one of my obsessions of late, Jeanne Tripplehorn, would be gracing this project as the Jackie O. Tripplehorn's work in Big Love, particularly this season, is absolute heartbreak and grace but the moment she commands the screen as Jackie O, this broken, disjointed character study is suddenly pulled together into a glorious, cohesive character study. Of course, there are great themes regarding the line that connects the past to the present and the continual struggle we all have to keep it present. In spite of all of this, it falls short of epic-ness and by the film's final act, we're left with a little more Jane Austen then anything timely or significant. (B-)

So that's that... Everything's kind of all over the place right now but I hope to be back on top of my game within the next few weeks.

That's all.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THE FINISHED PROJECT..

So it should come as no surprise that I have been Quite!.. Ob-Sessed with the Real World - Road Rules Challenge franchise since my days in college.  I don't need to justify it.  I don't need to explain it.  It's just something you get...


So that being said, In honor of the return of the latest incarnation in this series, The Duel II.. I thought I'd take some time to post my anticipations and observations for the season.  Let’s take this thing on!

First of all, I have to provide the disclaimer that Andrew’s been out of town for 4 days now
and we’ve only been together maybe a total of 5 days this month, so this review is a little sex-centric. I mean, I’ve always approached these Challenges under the impression that they were essentially soft-core porn (you don’t really care about the plot or the premise, you just watch it for the visual stimulation), so perhaps that’s the perfect tone to take.

Anyway, I’ve been highly anticipating this thing for weeks now, possibly months! The lineup promised to be one of the more exciting dynamics of favorites that we’ve had in the last few rounds of Challenges. Also, I loooove that it’s set in New Zealand. I’m half way enthralled
and half way offended by the borderline amazing traditional Maori opening.

While part of me wants to write MTV a letter reprimanding them for their cultural insensitivity, most of me really just loves it. I mean, if we were little and the Superfriends all did a choreographed haka dance, would we be offended? I think not.. And the RW/RR Challenges really are our contemporary equivalent to the Superfriends, are they not? The first few minutes of set up were engrossing to say the least, setting the tone for the ghosts of
Challenge’s past and it really just got better from there. I really love how self reflexive and self important they’re making this Challenge! I mean honestly, these things mean as much to some people (including me!) as say ER or MASH.. So why not?!

Alright, let’s get on to the cast. After a long shot of the entire cast, we’re greeted by Kimberly, who you may remember from The Soup fame as the racially clueless “ghetto Blackville” girl. Can’t stand her and can’t wait to see her come to a humiliating demise half way through the season. Her accent is like a cheese grater to my soul.

Mark Long may be as cheesey as all get out, but he’s one hot 40 year old. If my body’s that bangin’ at his age I will be a happy man. I served him once at the CCF Beverly Hills and I’ve always thought he should look into a career in either gay or straight porn. (Obviously gay porn would be more lucrative, but I don’t think that’d ever happen). Anyway, he is one of the many reality whores that I would quite thoroughly enjoy having sex with.

I love love love me some Paula Walnuts. Always have. Always will. She’s that kind of emotionally unstable girl that just gravitates to me and we would so totes be besties if we ran in the same circles. Her story on The Island was one of the season’s hallmarks and I think it’s
interesting to note that sexy Kenny is not a part of this Challenge. (Not to mention Johnny Bananas who I still lurve despite his betrayal of Paula on The Island and that troll Evelyn who I never liked.) Hmm.. I guess throwing Paula under the bus paid off enough that he could sit this one out.

Tori sucks and is boring just like most of those Fresh Meat type replacement people. Brad from San Diego however is one of my fave Real Worlders of all time and I wish he’d go for someone better. I always root for him in these things and it always sucks to see him get screwed over. I always associate him with Robin who is like in my top 5 all time favorite Challengers list so I think that’s why I like him too. But anyway, yeah, I live for Robin and her raspy chain smoking voice and her paranoid self. She came into the OG I worked at in Vegas and ordered some calamari and a mango margarita and I’ve been love struck ever since ;)

OK. You asked about Veronica I think about Rachel and I really have little information about what went down between those two except that I do see Veronica out like all the time, like sometimes once a week around WeHo so she’s obviously kickin’ it around her somewhere. She runs with one of my acquaintancey friends and I’ve had a few pleasant drunken conversations with her. I’m not really sure what she saw in Jenn on The Island except the fact that she’s hot, but she’s still pretty boring and I’m pretty ambivalent as to how this
Challenge works out for her.

Evan’s always fun to watch and he makes good TV. I think I generally like him because I know that Coral’s got his back and if Coral’s got somebody’s back than I got their back too.

Eww. Big Eric is so gross and I just wish he would go away. We get it. You’re fat. Blah!

Um. Ruthie is obviously also in my top 5 all time fave list. I live for her. She is my hero. I wish the best for her. I hope she wins. Cannot gush enough about my Island girl!! Landon has to be one of the Top 5 Sexiest RW Alum of all time and I like him as a person too! Yay! Go Landon! I hope he is shirtless this season as much as possible ;)

Gay Ryan is in that Not-Too-Interesting Fresh Meat group of people but I don’t really dislike him like I do Davis. Last I heard, he was working at one of my fave restaurants in Chelsea, St. Elmo. I got really drunk there last October with JD and sweety Ryan from RW
Brooklyn! Davis I don’t trust nor would I make an effort to talk to if I saw him out because he is a racist with issues that clearly need to be worked out and I have enough issues of my own thank you very much. I love how hot and heavy the two of them are getting however,
especially in that setting, but more because of the idea of it. It's like a big FU to all the alpha-maleness that normally dominates these things.

I love how crazy Brooke is trying to get in the mix with them too! What a crazy bitch! She has some great youtubes up also courtesy of The Soup. I like her to stay around as long as possible cuz she always brings the crazy and well that’s just fun to watch!

I don’t have feelings about Aneesa really either way. I mean, I don’t dislike her or root against her, I’m just never really pulling for her either. I think it’s kind of weird that she looks nothing like that fat naked girl that used to wander around the Real World Chicago apartment.

That Derek guy’s alright, I guess, but just doesn’t qualify as Challenge royalty for some reason. He never really calls my attention except that in some shots at certain angles he’s vaguely hot. Katie however has always been one of my love’s. Like Robin, her chain smoking rasp just draws me in and I generally root for her whenever she’s on the chopping block. I think she’s be reeeeeally fun to drink with!

OK, so we already know that CT and Adam get into a fist to cuff’s on the first night and that kind of sucks because I like having CT around too. I love the tension he brings into a room and watching everyone just generally be on edge around him. He’s totally gross and disgusting but I’m strangely attracted to him in that “I’d love to hate fuck him” kind of way.. Adam’s about as interesting as the inside of an empty cereal box so he’s not much of a loss, but sucks to see CT
go. Damn, man. He really just can’t control himself can he?

Isaac from Sydney is one of my favorite recent additions to the Challenge mess and has been dubbed by Joel McHale as The Soup’s favorite RW cast member ever. I generally agree. His degree of crazy is very endearing and again, inexplicably, I’m strangely attracted to him in that “I’ll never have him because he’s straight” unattainable kind of way.. Though, I could vaguely imagine him letting me go down on him if he was drunk and potentially passed out? Is that creepy. Well, that’s what he brings out in me! His black face Flava Flav should’ve offended me but I gotta say, it was rather flawlessly executed so you have to kind of give him props. Is that wrong?

Diem has an interesting story I guess, with that whole cancer thing, but I still pretty much clump her into that vanilla Fresh Meat crowd and never really got past that. I could care less about her “relationship” with CT, because clearly he could care less.. Dunbar is generically attractive I guess but while he was an actual Real Worlder, he might as well have been a Fresh Meater. Although, I agree with Paula, “I haven’t had it yet so I might go for it, if I’m bored.”

There are a few people who I have no idea who they are nor could I care less about them in this challenge. Nick is one of them. I’m assuming he’s from that same horrendous Hollywood season that Kimberly was in that I did not watch because I could step out my front door to
watch douche bags if I wanted to. That Shauvon girl? Was she from Sydney? Blah. Who cares. She’ll be one of the first to go. Over it. Who the fuck’s Brittini? I don’t care..

I was bummed to see that none of the Brooklyn cast were able to make it on in time, but I do not that my boy Scotty is strongly considering doing the next one!

The replacement of MJ and Nehemiah combined don’t even come close to matching the loss of CT but oh well.. I actually like MJ cuz he was pretty respectful to Karamo and Willy on the Philly season and Nehemiah was cool cuz he went at it with stupid Wes about politics in
Austin but besides that.. Ho-hum.

Anyways, I'll be twittering throughout this season! Can't wait for all the dramz to go down!!

ONLY THROUGH THE MAGIC OF HOLLYWOOD..

So I gotta take a quick moment to say.. The new Justin Timberlake produced MTV Reality experiment known as The Phone actually looks kinda kick ass!

Hmm... Not like I have any time in my life to add another hour long reality series to my to-do list.. But I'll deffo be TiVo'ing the series premiere to see if the final product actually stands up to the j'amazing minute long promo..

Anybody else gonna check this shit out??...

STYLE IS AS IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE AS YOUR LOOK..

Yes yes yessss!! The trailer for Sacha Baron Cohen's follow up to BORAT, based on his gay Austrian news reporter alter ego Bruno (which was always my favorite portion of the original ALI G series) has finally been released and contains much of the meant-to-offend stealth footage that has been much ballyhooed of late.

Check it out below:



Vulgar, shocking and hilarious indeed! Can't wait to see it all!!